You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty
Dollars, Ma'am."
Don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear all that sexy stuff
All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff
'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land
Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand!
It's natural, and organic
It's easy and it's fun
If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done
You don't need a special license
You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill
'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand,
Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand!
(Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the
ROCKER'S part. For instance, he does that one bit where you
jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that
instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker.)
You can do it in the bathroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead
You can rub it with some lotion
You can stroke it with a cloth
Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off
Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand.
Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand
I would highly suggest that you cease copying and/or tracing other people's artwork such as Huskie's and J.C. Amberlyn's. Are you familiar with the legal ramifications of violating copyright laws? Just get Justin O' Possum off of the thong and the clock in your cafepress store for the love of all things good in this world. Pink doesn't flatter him.
More artists and their supporters will be contacting you as well as Miss J.C. Amberlyn. If you'd like to discuss anything further, please e-mail me at klandagi dot art at gmail dot com.
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